Tampons, Tennis Balls and Affliction T-Shirts

I’m newly officially single. Sucks, but that’s life, right? I need a break anyway. Having been the girl in junior high, high school and college who never had a boyfriend and then to be in 2 strong relationships over the last 13 years with not much of a break in-between, I need some “me” time.

So, here I am and no, I won’t be doing the online dating thing. Did that during a brief break a few years ago; I wasn’t really into it. I hoped the break was temporary and it was. The online dating experiences offered some decent blog worthy stories, but never again; see “Written Word Going to Hell! LOL!“

I’m feeling strong about being single, 39, and a single mom. I got this. I’m looking forward to meeting someone LATER, MUCH LATER and maybe seeing where that goes, but for now, I’m good.

This morning, I realize I’m out of tampons. Bad timing to say the least, but I find one and after I dropped Weez off at school I went to The Wal-Mart. I also needed to buy the dog a new tennis ball; she barfed on her half chewed favorite ball. Lovely. I’m sure she didn’t care, but I did.

I grabbed a multi-pack of tampons and yes, I needed mini pads too. I really am not sure how I ran out of BOTH at the same time, but I didn’t have any coupons for either. I’ve been distracted from life for a while, apparently. I whistled a tune as I walked to the dog stuff aisle and was in my own world; tampons tucked under one arm and mini pads in the other hand.

“Cat food aisle, cat stuff aisle, dog stuff aisle, ah ha,” I murmured to myself. I was aware there was someone else in the aisle. I am not someone to greet strangers so I just get on with what I needed to do and I assumed the other person would as well.

Nope.

“Hi. How are you,” he asked.

I looked up and it’s a dad from the Y I see repeatedly first thing in the AM when I’m in yoga pants, my blue fleece, and probably haven’t brushed my hair. Thankfully, he looks like Zak from “Ghost Adventures,” pushing 40 and still wearing “Affliction” t-shirts with more product in his hair than I’ve ever used in mine. He’s a good looking man, but not my type at all.

Of course, what he meant by “Hi. How are you,” was “I love you and want to marry you,” right? Right.

Glad we’re all on the same page…

I stopped twirling the mini pads in my hand and my face went blank, “I’m doing good. How are you?” Good? How about “well,” Lesh? He says, “I’m good.” I say, “Great,” found the tennis balls and left the aisle.

It becomes very apparent to me that I am socially awkward. Not sure why this is apparent NOW as I’ve always known that. I’m a dork. BUT NOW I’M REALLY SINGLE. Sure, I was single before I met my now ex-husband and was pretty much single (divorce was already in process) when I met my now ex-boyfriend. But now? I’m SINGLE after 13 years of being dorks WITH someone. I feel completely unprepared for what lies ahead of me.

Dating.

Kill me.

Like I said, for now, I’m good. I think. I’m feeling strong, remember? I got this, right? I’m an independent single mom. Self sufficient. Funny. When I wear makeup and do my hair, I’m cute. Oy vey, I have to do my hair and wear makeup?

Maybe when I’m 40 I’ll consider dating. I think I’ll hide behind my sarcasm for a while.

Alicia Wozniak was born and raised in Cleveland, “Woz” now lives in Tampa, with the rest of Ohio. This nearly 40 year old can be found teaching Zumba, promoting Body by Vi, all over Facebook, figuring out Twitter, blogging, and working her full time gig in a marketing division of a textbook publisher. She wonders how many jobs she really needs. If she isn’t moving, she’s unconscious. Life, which includes a Weez, is good and as long as the beer is cold and it isn’t snowing, she’ll keep moving forward – Xanax close at hand.