One topic I’ve seen of late that really gives me heartburn is the breastfeeding in public controversy. I suppose I fail to see why it’s a controversy at all. When did feeding your child become what some would make into a woman performing a sex act in public? I’ll tell you when, back in the dark ages.
For those who haven’t noticed, it is 2012. Yet, it seems we haven’t evolved beyond 1712. Society is still labeling a woman’s breasts into only objects that denote something sexual. Are my breasts sexual? They can be. But when they have a nursing baby attached to them, sexual has left the building.
Just because some highly immature man can look at a woman breast feeding and think, “look, boobies” does not in any way, shape or form make breastfeeding in public wrong. The bound up old prudes who think a woman’s chest area should always be covered obviously need a lesson in being a woman.
In fact, I think that a nursing mother should barely be noticed at all. Breastfeeding is a natural act that long precedes women wearing revealing clothing or porn. It should be viewed as the most nurturing, beautiful thing a woman can do for her child. Not that every woman should or can breast feed. But if they so choose, it shouldn’t be condemned just because they are in the mall.
I have spoken with many an expectant mother whose only hang-up about breastfeeding her baby was that it would be difficult in public. No woman should ever feel embarrassed to care for her child. That’s not to say that one must fully expose themselves in public to do so. There are ways to keep from popping a nipple out, but some people are so offended that even if the mother and child are fully covered they still have a heart attack.
How many men have I seen publicly scratching or grabbing their crotch? Crotch handling is a disgusting habit, but not one that will land them on a newspaper or magazine. It’s even preventable, but let a woman reveal a breast (a partial breast) to feed her baby and you’d think she performed oral sex in the food court. Why does it seems to be okay for woman to wear a blouse cut so low their naval is popping out showing more boob than you’d ever see whilst a baby nurses, but they just can’t breast feed?
I really think society has it twisted. It’s fine for females to be sexual, they just can’t be motherly. Maybe it’s the fact that women don’t want their men to ogle at another woman’s breasts. Maybe men can’t get beyond “boobies”, but for the love of Gouda, can’t we give mothers a small break? Can’t we let them feed and nurture their offspring without scorn? I think there are plenty of other issues in the world to spend our time fretting over. Perhaps we should start policing men with no fashion sense who wear shorts with long socks and sandals. It would make about as much sense, and be about as worthwhile.
Tammie Niewedde shares her life with 24, 21, and 16 year old sons. She also has a 2 year old grandson whose energy level reminds her exactly how old she is (40, and she owns that proudly!). In her home, you will find a 120 pound fur factory named Dexter and a few cats whom have decided that she is merely their staff. The root of her love for books, writing, and animals comes from being a child whose only siblings were books and her animals. She is a full-time student, mother, coordinator of all that is chaos, and a hopeless list maker. Most of her writing is creative non-fiction that describes her real life adventures. Her acerbic, biting sense of humor may capture your heart, or it may induce rage. Nonetheless what she writes is true to life. You can often find her hanging out with the kiddos, studying, reading, writing, and making lists…of everything! You can find her on Facebook!
Many excellent points. Insane that women are practically required to show cleavage yet are hassled for breastfeeding where people can see – or, those same people could just look elsewhere! A couple of suggestions: please don’t stoop to ageism when you refer to women older than yourself. The vast majority of Grand Mothers and Crones would probably strongly support breast-feeding wherever you and your baby are comfortable. You too will get old, if you’re lucky. Also, think about this bizarre fact: “boob” is also the word for “idiot”. “Boob tube” is a phrase that means “idiot box”. If we all – all of us women – called our breasts “breasts” with some sense of their actual sacredness, instead of, in essence, badmouthing them, (pun NOT intentional) would it make a difference? Maybe. Maybe others would see them as actually being part of us, worth taking care of, worth defending against ugly words and attitudes. Meanwhile, Brava for standing up for the rights of women and children!
Thank you so much for your kind words. Also, thank you for your suggestions. I think one thing you should know about me as a writer is that I tend to stay very true to my authentic self. I am a very laid back, not always politically correct person. Had this been a scholarly essay, my word choices would have been vastly different. With creative writing, I feel it is important to give personality to my work; my personality.
Yes, I referred to a woman of a certain age whom might be a bit uptight as an “old prude”. Who knows? Maybe I will be an old prude one day myself. It has been my experience in the very small town that I am from that many women older than myself tend to stand on some moral pedestal and look down upon those of us whom they feel don’t live up to their standards. This would include breastfeeding in public. I breastfed my children, and older women wanted to shuffle me off into a dark corner somewhere so as not to offend them or others; Thus the term “old prudes”.
When I refer to “boobs” it is only part of the vernacular which I am accustomed. I realize there are probably more proper terms. But then I don’t actually always use what would be considered proper, politically correct terminology. I just can’t bring myself to be quite that uptight. That is not to say everyone who does IS uptight. It’s simply a statement of my feeling like I’m wearing a tie or something.
I do realize that boob has a dual meaning, as do many words. But it is my feeling that we, as women, strip that power of degradation away from that ( and other words by saying), “Yes, I have boobs. You don’t hurt my feelings one bit when you call them that”. In example I have a tattoo on my back of the word B**ch. Why? The reason is that yes, I am one; and a big enough b**ch not to care if I’m called one. If we take the power of the word away, it really is harmless.
You make good points, and I truly appreciate your input. I just want you to understand me, as a writer, and a person too.
Thank you for reading. I appreciate it very much.