Prayer with a Side of Blues
Prayer with a Side of Blues

My brain raced as I sat at my desk, grateful no one else was in the office. I looked at my “to do” list trying to decide where to start. I couldn’t focus. I sat there, overcome by a myriad of separate but equal emotions. Tears ran down my cheeks, salty droplets creating puddles on my blouse. I just wanted answers, clarity. And suddenly I decided to do the only thing I could think to do…I prayed.

Dear God –Today, I’m confused. Today, I’m overwhelmed. Today, my heart is breaking. Today, I NEED You. Today, more than ever. Please God! Please!

That was my prayer. Simple. Honest. No pomp. No circumstance. No mincing of words. I was not on my knees. My head was not bowed. I looked out the window, eyes fixed toward the heavens, tears still streaming down my face.

Please God! Please! My heart ached.

Please God! Please! My spirit screamed.

Please God! Please! Can you hear me?

Please God! Please! Is this mic on? Testing. Testing.

The tears slowed and I laughed a little, realizing my “prayer” was reminiscent of the chorus to the many Blues songs I would wake to as a kid on the Saturday mornings where my mom decided waffles, bacon and eggs sounded good for breakfast. The Blues was the background music that seemed to make everything taste, look and feel better in our house. Suddenly, B.B. King had appeared and was leaning on the credenza in my office, singing with me while strumming his guitar.

Please God! Please!

I stopped speaking, but the song played on in my mind as I wondered if God could really hear my cry. I wondered if the God I was taught to lean on in times of trouble knew my name. I wondered if this God really understood the confusion, the hurt. I wondered if the supplication of a simple woman who didn’t go to church every week, hadn’t read the Bible in ages and who chose to pray while sitting at her desk, or in bed or while driving could really be heard. I wondered if my prayer could be answered in some poetically smooth and quick fashion.

My thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the office door. Quickly, I snapped into reality, realizing the salt of my tears had crystallized on my skin. As I tried to pull myself together, my boss, who was equally my strong leader and loving friend, peeked into my office to offer a “Good morning” greeting.

She saw my face, and without hesitation, put on her “friend hat”. We talked and I cried. We talked more and she cried. She listened and I talked, letting go, at least for a moment, of the sadness. There was no judgment, no pressure to say more or less. There was just love. And as the conversation went on, B.B. King was still leaning on the credenza strumming his guitar.

Please God! Please!

My dear boss and friend listened for as long as I needed. There was no rush to get into the business of the day. When I stopped talking she gave me a warm hug. And in that moment, my heart swelled with peace.

The God I had called on that morning while sitting at my desk was in that moment. The God I had called on didn’t give me the exact answer I was looking for in the moment, but sent a precious angel to hear my cry and be arms of strength, at least for this day.

A caring ear and loving hug let me know God heard me that day. I didn’t pray in the “traditional” way I’d grown up knowing was “right”, but I prayed nonetheless. I am a simple woman, who doesn’t read the Bible often and doesn’t regularly attend church. I am a simple woman who wants nothing more than to be good to others and happy inside. I am a simple woman who wants to honor the love and light God placed inside of me.

My boss left the office, B.B. King just behind her still strumming his guitar, but the words to the song changed a little.

Thank you God! Thank you!

I didn’t have all the answers I wanted. Still don’t. But this simple girl remains hopeful, prayerful. This simple girl still chats with God in my car, on my bed, at my desk…believing, trusting.

Thank you God! Thank you!

 

Sherry Samuels: Writing: The Final Frontier. Although just entering her mid thirties, Sherry has seen and experienced a great deal in this life and knows the rest of the journey, however long it may be, will be spent writing about the precious (and not so precious) moments. Enjoying everything from opportunities to strut her stuff in her rainbow-colored tutu to a lazy day with a Golden Girls marathon, Sherry really is a touch of sugar, a pinch (or three) of spice and everything (most days anyway) nice. Sherry grew up in the Midwest, has spent the last 13 years becoming a southerner and now looks forward to the potential to take on a whole new region in this great land…or another. Until she starts her blog, you can keep up with Sherry on Facebook.

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13 Comments

  1. Jodie
    Posted August 10, 2013 at 5:42 pm | Permalink

    Nicely written! People often forget that, although He wants us to worship Him, God is our Father. Therefore, He welcomes our talking to Him just as we would our earthly Fathers.

  2. Posted March 24, 2012 at 10:12 pm | Permalink

    I should have said this much sooner, but thanks so much to all for the lovely words of appreciation and/or encouragement.

  3. Kristina
    Posted March 23, 2012 at 11:01 am | Permalink

    What a beautiful and well written story. Thank you for opening up your heart and sharing it with us. I love the seemingly small “God moments” that happen like that when you least expect them. God is everywhere and inside all of us, and has ways of working on us that we can’t even imagine. “There was just love.” That’s what it’s all about…simply love, which isn’t always a simple thing. God’s love for us, our love for God, and our love for each other. I look forward to reading more from you!

  4. Posted March 22, 2012 at 9:58 am | Permalink

    I have been there. Oh, I know that place well.

    Thank you for your authenticity.
    It’s refreshing.

  5. jessica
    Posted December 12, 2011 at 9:03 am | Permalink

    Beautiful. Truth. Absolutely love it. Well done!

  6. Posted December 8, 2011 at 1:04 pm | Permalink

    Thank You God! Thank You!

  7. Mary Waite
    Posted December 8, 2011 at 10:20 am | Permalink

    You have a special talent for expressing both the anguish and the joy in your life. I hope you’ll keep writing…writing…writing — and share your poignant words with the world. We’ll be waiting!

  8. Naomi
    Posted December 7, 2011 at 3:05 pm | Permalink

    Not only beautiful, but very, very talented too. May God bless you on your journey and be with you always!

  9. Cathy
    Posted December 6, 2011 at 9:49 pm | Permalink

    Touched my heart…thank you for sharing yourself so openly.

  10. kate
    Posted December 6, 2011 at 9:46 pm | Permalink

    Well-done, my friend! I hope peace and happiness for you…always.

  11. Toni
    Posted December 6, 2011 at 8:35 pm | Permalink

    Love this, Rene! You’re so gifted! Keep up the great work. P.S. I agree with the above comment from Mary Moore… Answers often come at unexpected times and in various forms.

  12. Mary Moore
    Posted December 6, 2011 at 1:16 pm | Permalink

    What a beautifully written and touching story! I hope the author continues to find answers to her prayers, which so often arrive at the most unexpected times, disguised as something else.

  13. Posted December 6, 2011 at 12:51 pm | Permalink

    Wow! This was absolutely beautiful.

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