At some point we’ve all stopped to read them, roll our eyes, and worn one (or twenty) of our own: Statement T-shirts. From “Daddy drinks because I cry” emblazoned across the chest of a toddler to “These, and my daddy is loaded.” to advertise the assets of a buxom teenager, society continues to say it with fabric. Be it cute, cringe-worthy, crass, comical or any combination of the four, T-shirts that talk aren’t about to shut up. Even if it’s only to say “Statement T-shirts Suck.” Want the world to know you’re hotter than everyone’s girlfriend? There’s a shirt for that. Want to criticize the clowns governing your country? There’s a shirt for that. Want to piss off everyone of a different race or religion? There’s a shirt for that, too. Hell, if you’re not particularly good with words, you have the option of wearing “Words on a shirt.” Statement T-shirts know no boundaries. We’re running out of reasons to not give people thirty feet away something to read.
Statement shirts are:
Educational: If it has tires or testicles, it’s trouble.
Inspirational: Tomorrow’s worries are the thief of today’s peace.
Motivational: Become the 1%.
Not so motivational: Running sucks
Delusional: I Am the American Dream (It’s called the ‘American Dream’ because you have to be asleep to believe it. – George Carlin)
Abominable: Slavery gets shit done
Apocalyptical: I survived the end of the world
Astrological: I’m compatible with every sign if you’re sexy
Biblical: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:!3
Egotistical: So hot I contribute to global warming
Fantastical: Real men don’t sparkle. They defeat dark wizards.
Generational: Beer. Helping ugly people get laid since 1862.
Political: I don’t need sex. The government screws me every day.
Illogical: The below is true. The above is false.
Immoral: Your grandchildren die every night on your daughter’s face
Intellectual: Never judge a book by its movie
Judgmental: On my planet you’re an asshole. Earth is my planet.
Nonjudgmental: The world needs more hugs
Philosophical: The journey is the destination
Superficial: I’m the hot friend
Logical: Someone is reading this shirt
My foray into wearing words without shame began with a shirt declaring “FOXY” in gigantic, fluorescent
When they rose to popularity in the 1960s, T-Shirts with a voice had something profound to say about war, poverty, and famine. While these issues still plague the world today, society is more concerned that everyone around them knows it’s been 859,694 days since they last cared (or had a clever thought, no doubt) or that they’re kind of a big deal. The advantage of people announcing bullshit on their bodies while mistaking stupidity for wit is you already know the guy who hit on you wearing a shirt declaring his girlfriend is out of town is a moron before he even opens his mouth and said girlfriend is inflatable, or that the girl whose t-shirt calls you out on staring at her chest goes through life with mounds of silicone masquerading as personality and probably has horrible self esteem issues. If you’re one of the 8,000 dudes on the sidewalk whose shirt says “I’m with stupid”, the positioning of the arrow isn’t fooling anyone. Before your chest becomes a billboard, consider what it’s saying about you. Sometimes “Uh, cool shirt” is the beginning and the end of a conversation.
Blair Adele – sometimes better known as Vanity Blair has had a love affair with the art of writing since she knew how to hold a pen properly. While girls studied Seventeen magazine, she studied the dictionary, infatuated with expanding her vocabulary. Since the tumultuous teenage years, she has viewed trends with disdain, preferring to embrace individuality when it comes to style. “The Blair Necessities” is where she combines her objective: expressing femininity through fashion, and encouraging what sets a woman apart from the rest, with her passion for the written word. Let she who is without fear of fashion, cast the first stilletto.